Called to Lead in Love
A Valentine’s Weekend Reflection for Men
Valentine’s Day tends to focus on the visible symbols of love, flowers, cards, chocolates, maybe a last-minute dinner reservation. There’s nothing wrong with those things. But the love God calls men to practice is far deeper and far more demanding.
Biblical love is not measured by what we say. It is measured by what we are willing to carry.
From the beginning, God called men to lead, not to dominate, not to control, but to lead with responsibility, humility, and sacrifice.
Scripture gives us three powerful pictures of that calling, Adam, Abraham, and Jesus. Together, they show both the danger of failed leadership and the beauty of faithful love.
Adam, The Cost of Passivity
Genesis tells us Adam was placed in the garden “to work it and keep it.”
Before there was a wife, or a family, there was responsibility.
With Eve, Adam was entrusted to guard what God had made, to take God’s word seriously, and to lead spiritually.
But when the decisive moment came, Adam said nothing.
He watched instead of acting.
He stayed silent instead of protecting.
And when everything unraveled, he shifted the blame,
“The woman You gave me…”
Adam’s failure was not that he was too forceful. It was that he was passive.
Passivity is never neutral. When a man steps back from responsibility, things do not remain steady, they deteriorate. Adam’s silence opened the door to fracture, shame, and death. His story warns us that refusing to lead is itself a decision, and often a costly one.
Abraham, When Passivity Creates Problems
Abraham was called to step into the unknown, leave his home, abandon security, and trust God’s promise. He did walk by faith, but he also stumbled in a familiar way.
God promised Abraham and Sarah a son. When the promise seemed delayed, Sarah proposed a solution of her own, to have a child through Hagar.
Abraham did not lead in that moment.
He did not pray.
He did not question.
He did not remind his household of what God had already said.
He simply went along.
The result was Ishmael, not the child of promise, but the product of impatience. The consequences rippled outward, bringing pain into the marriage, injustice toward Hagar, division within the family, and conflict echoing through generations.
Abraham believed God, yet in that moment he chose convenience over trust.
When a man refuses to lead spiritually, someone else will step into the vacuum, but the direction will not align with God’s will.
The grace in Abraham’s story is that failure was not the end. He grew and he returned to faith. Leadership is not about perfection, it is about repentance and continued obedience.
Jesus, The Picture of True Leadership
Then comes Jesus...
and leadership is redefined.
Jesus does not avoid responsibility, he moves toward it.
Scripture calls Him the Bridegroom of His people. And how does He love His bride?
“Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Adam blamed his bride.
Abraham failed to protect his bride.
Jesus died for His bride.
THAT is biblical masculinity, not control, not dominance, but sacrifice.
Jesus leads by serving.
He protects by giving.
He strengthens by laying down His life.
Real leadership is not measured by how many people answer to you. It is measured by how much you are willing to give for their good.
What This Means for Married Men
If you are married, your leadership is not defined by authority but by example. You set the spiritual tone of your home.
You go first in repentance.
You go first in prayer.
You go first in faithfulness.
You go first in humility.
Your wife and children will be shaped far more by what you do than by what you say.
What This Means for Unmarried Men
If you are not married, you are not waiting to become a leader someday, you are becoming one right now.
Marriage does not create leadership, it reveals it.
The habits you form today, discipline, integrity, courage, are shaping the man you already are. You are not on the bench, you are in preparation.
Every Man Is Called to Lead Somewhere
Every man is called to lead,
In his home.
At his work.
In his church.
In the quiet places no one else sees.
The question is not whether you are a leader.
The question is, What kind of leader will you be?
Passive like Adam?
Fearful like Abraham at his worst?
Or sacrificial like Christ?
The Kind of Love That Lasts
Valentine’s Day love fades. Flowers die, cards get thrown away…
but a man who consistently loves like Christ leaves a legacy that outlives him.
Let us reject passivity.
Let us walk by faith.
Let us love through sacrifice.
Let us follow Christ so closely that others are safe to follow us.
Hope Journal
